CURB has updated its guidelines to reflect nearly three decades of lived experience and documented outcomes. These steps are designed to protect children, support parents, and hold schools accountable.

Step 1: Gather Information

Before contacting the school, gather as much detail from your child as possible:

• What has been happening
• Who is involved
• How long it has been going on

Step 2: Report in Writing

Do not visit or call the school to report bullying.

Instead, submit a written report. CURB provides a sample letter for parents.

Verbal reports — especially emotional ones — can lead to delays, miscommunication, or retaliation. Written documentation protects both the child and the process.

CURB’s Record-Keeping

CURB does not store personal data on children or families.

However, we do document:

• How parents report bullying
• How schools respond
• Time taken to address issues
• Outcomes and escalation patterns

Common Pitfalls

• Schools may delay action or mishandle reports
• Some staff may confront bullies informally, leading to denial or retaliation
• Victims may be portrayed as aggressors
• Children may beg parents not to pursue complaints out of fear

In some cases, schools have removed victims from class and placed them with their tormentors — without parental consent. This is unacceptable.

Emotional Impact

Children often disclose bullying only when they feel isolated and overwhelmed.

Parents may feel relief after reporting — but CURB’s data shows that bullying often intensifies once perpetrators learn they’ve been named.

Involve Your Child

Always:

• Involve your child in decisions
• Keep them informed at every stage
• Let them express what they want to see happen

Explain your chosen course of action and why

Prepare for Meetings

• Plan your agenda ahead of time
• Request the school’s Anti-Bullying Policy
• If unavailable, ask when it will be provided
• Study the policy carefully — schools must follow it

If they don’t, you may be entitled to file an Official Formal Complaint.

Documentation Is Key

• Write a plan of action
• List events in date order
• Decide whether your child should attend the meeting
• Respect their wishes — keep the discussion light and supportive

After every meeting:

• Send written confirmation of who attended
• Summarise points discussed
• Document the agreed action plan

Recording and Consent

If note-taking is difficult, consider using a Dictaphone.

Most schools will allow this if they receive a copy of the recording and transcript.

During the initial meeting, clarify:

• Whether you consent to your child being questioned
• Whether you wish to be present during questioning
• That no confrontation with bullies should occur without support

School Attendance and Medical Support

Do not keep your child home without authorisation.

Unauthorised absence can lead to prosecution — and bullying is rarely accepted as a valid reason.

Instead:

• Book an appointment with your GP
• Request a medical certificate if needed
• Ask about referral to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)

CAMHS can help your child cope — and their involvement documents the severity of the bullying.

If Physical Assault Occurs

• Visit A&E immediately
• Provide full details of the assault
• Photograph injuries if appropriate
• Inform the police — or ensure the hospital does

When contacting police:

• Request an appointment or home visit
• Record time and date of the call
• Note the officer’s name, rank, and number
• Ask for an incident number and keep it safe
• Follow up with a written account

If recording the interview, notify the police in advance.

When Is Bullying a Crime?

Not all bullying is criminal — but some forms are.

Report to police if your child experiences:

• Assault
• Theft
• Harassment or intimidation
• Threatening behaviour
• Abusive calls, texts, or emails (must be repeated and prolonged)
• Sexual assault
• Hate crimes

Legal Boundaries and ‘Loco Parentis’

Schools often claim they are acting in loco parentis — in place of a parent.

This is legally accepted under the Children’s Act 1989, which requires teachers to act with the care of a “reasonable parent.”

However:

• This does not override civil liberties
• Schools cannot question your child without consent
• Schools must not force confrontations without support

Parents must clarify from the outset:

• When and why they withhold consent
• That bullying-related questioning requires parental presence
• That everyday issues may be discussed without consent — but bullying matters must follow an acceptable format

Final Two Points:

• Protect your child’s safety and wellbeing
• Document everything

Acknowledgements

CURB thanks our volunteers — especially Ann Ward, John Hardhall, Kerry Knight, and Amy Thomas — for their continuous support and assistance. 

(Children Under Risk from Bullying)

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